A Special “Member”; how large is God’s penis?

You ever wonder how big God’s penis is? I’ll be honest, I do. Genesis, Chapter 1, Verse 27: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him,” according to King James’ book.

That’s what the Bible says. I have a penis, so the Bible dic-tates God must, too. Which begs my question, and a couple others. We’re all in God’s image, so that’s an argument for the average human penis being about the size of God’s – proportionally speaking, anyway. I think it a bit presumptuous to claim to know God’s height and weight. But don’t we all like to think that God would be the proud owner of a porn-star magnitude johnson? The problem with this affectionate assumption is that, of course, most of us would cease to be exactly in His image, with our mere mortal manhoods.

But we’ll come back to that one. And as long as we’re in the area, I would like to know what, exactly, God needs a penis for. Those Darwinian heathens have done a thorough job of their “scientific” study and exhaustive research into the “evolution” of our species, and the inheritance of our monkey penis. I know what to do with my penis, and spend the bulk of my free time practicing, and praying for God to bless me with a pretty lady to help out. In this day and age you don’t have to pray cause you can now buy sex toys that will bring you wonders and flesh-like sensation that you though only women can give. But exactly what practical use does God have for His Wang? He didn’t even utilize his own Original Prick to impregnate the Virgin Mary! He took the lazy route. Didn’t lay the poor girl but, presumably, snapped His Godly fingers and made it so, before sending an angel to give her the news in “person”:

“And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name JESUS.” (Luke, 1:31)

At no point does God’s Holy Dangle do any diddling. So what is it there for? Hmmm… how frequently do you figure God masturbates?  Call this speculation, but I’m assuming the Lord does not get erections. Coitus exists for procreation and nothing more. And if the Man upstairs wasn’t wasting a woody on Jesus, then I, for one, am comfortable labeling Him forever flaccid.

My penis is modeled after God’s. When I’m flying at half-mast I know we are talking about a fraction of my God-given potential. I am not looking to be branded a heretic, but from a reasoned and rational point of view, my verdict is that if you are blessed with a penis the size of the Almighty’s that even an yoga maniac adult star can’t resist, that is nothing to thank God about.

God’s Phallus

The title of this post (God’s Phallus) is shocking because the thought of God having a penis is shocking. Most Jews and Christians think of God the father as lacking a body and hence as beyond sexuality. Without a body, God obviously can have no sexual organ.

But from where does the idea of a disembodied God come? What if, historically speaking, it is discomfort with the idea of God’s penis that has generated the idea of an incorporeal God? What if this uneasiness flows from the contradictions inherent in men’s relationship with a God who is explicitly male? This in a nutshell is the argument of this book.

This is why the title “God’s Phallus” is a serious one that points to interesting questions about the nature of religious symbols and the way in which issues of gender, sexuality, and desire are inseparable from them. More specifically, this is a book about divine fatherhood and the ways in which the sexual body of a father God is troubling for the conception of masculinity.

It may, of course, seem counterintuitive to think of a male God as being problematic for the conception of masculinity. After all, dozens of feminist studies over the past twenty years have explored the way in which images of male deities authorize male domination in the social order. As these studies have well demonstrated, a divine male both legitimates male authority and deifies masculinity. It thus may seem par­adoxical to consider that the symbol of a male God generates dilemmas for the conception of masculinity.

Nevertheless, I would argue that at the same time that such a symbol works to legitimate masculinity, which may in fact be its primary and even original function, it also renders the meaning of masculinity unstable. This book explores how tensions arising from the idea of the sexual body of the father God are expressed in the myth and ritual of one religious tradition, namely that of ancient Judaism.

So what are the dilemmas evoked by the maleness of God in ancient Judaism? The first is homoeroticism: the love of a male human for a male God. The issue of homoeroticism arises in ancient Israel because the divine‑human relationship is often described in erotic and sexual terms. Marriage and sexuality are frequent biblical metaphors for describing God’s relationship with Israel. God is imagined as the husband to Israel the wife; espousal and even sexual intercourse are metaphors for the covenant. Thus when Israel follows other gods, “she” is seen to be whoring. Israel’s relationship with God is thus conceptualized as a monogamous sexual relation, and idolatry as adultery.

But the heterosexual metaphors in the ancient texts belie the nature of the relationship in question: it is human males, not females, who are imagined to have the primary intimate relations with the deity. The Israel that is collectively imagined as a woman is actually constituted by men, men like Moses and the patriarchs. And these men love, in ways that are imagined erotically and sensually, a male deity.

This would not have posed a problem if human masculinity was not so strongly associated with procreation in ancient Judaism. Being a man in ancient Israelite culture involved marrying, having children, and carrying forward the lineage of one’s father or tribe. Thus ancient Judaism’s concept of masculinity was deeply entangled in images of what is now called heterosexuality.

Still another set of dilemmas are generated by the monotheistic image of a sexless father God. As has been pointed out by many inter­preters, the God of the Jews, unlike the gods of the ancient Near East and many other religious traditions, does not have sexual intercourse or father children, at least in the literature that made its way into the Hebrew Bible. The archaeological record suggests that many Israelites may have imagined the goddess Asherah to be a partner of Yahweh, but in the Hebrew Bible, and in the variety of Judaisms that flourished subsequently, Israel imagined God as having no sexual partners.

De­spite the fact that God metaphorically gets married (e.g., Hosea 1‑2; Jeremiah 2:2), and even has sexual intercourse with the entity Israel (Ezekiel 16:8), who is imagined as a woman, this metaphorical union differs from the couplings of male and female deities found in the mythology of many other religious traditions.

The sexlessness of the father God was problematic in a culture de­fined by patrilineal descent. A man was expected to reproduce, to carry on his line, yet he was also understood to be made in the image of a God who was essentially celibate.

A philosophical question-“Does God Have Penis?”

Today is the world of interesting fact. All we know that people want something new and interesting topic to talk about. That’s why every individual is thinking about the illogical and philosophical question in their mind. The concept is about regarding that how people are giving time to think about philosophical questions. There are so many sites dedicated to the philosophical question: -“Does God Have Penis?” which are responsible for clearing the issues which are running on every individual’s mind.

We all know that God formed man, but somehow it is true saying that God is assumed to physical, spiritual being. God is always a concern with the different religions. There are so many doubts available on every individual mind that God has a physical body, same as a human.

God, the name given by us, is a reality or not, a major confusion in our mind. But it clearly shows that it is not male or female, good or bad, right or wrong. Generally, doubts may occur, but due to our philosophical mind, it touches our factuality aspects.

Somehow, in schools, we have generally studied and sometimes it usually be taught that God is a male and god has a penis.

Is God genderless?

Hence, we are thinking and searching on an interesting aspect that God is male or female, or it is genderless. This stuff may occur many questions as there are many sites dedicated to the philosophical question: -“Does God Have Penis?” which shows a useless question. Here is no denying the fact that everything in creation comes from the female. Some are the points which will show that what the fact behind it is:-

  • Creation: There is a true fact that God has created a human being as all we know that what is good and why we have such religious to god. Do creations refer from what God gives us? but somehow there are so many people who didn’t give much priority to god
  • Truth: believers may believe in god, but somehow the question opts in mind that is god have to gender? If we believe the truth is always alive but if we are non-believer then questions and doubt must occur.
  • Nature: Nature is a perfect example of beliefs in god because nature gives us the very beautiful thing in the manner of a human being and heaven.
  • Existence: Like all human being thinks that where God is available or where we can see god? But the fact is that God has no physical appearance as it is genderless.
  • Meaning of life: Life gives us many lessons about what will happen in the next stage. Means to say that God made us and gives us such a beautiful life that can help to show the fact about we always provide god priority surely, and hence god plays an important role in our life.


Hence, the story of life says that people are much religious to god and they never consider that god has the physical appearance or not. I can’t imagine being gender-less though, for me that is misery, on top that can’t enjoy the moments with my sex toys.